Beatitudes for Friends of the Challenged

I was once given this small poem by a therapist.  I have posted it in every nursing home I have worked since.  I make copies and hand it out to staff.  Many times, I find that staff carry it in their scrubs' pockets.

I share it with family members when they come looking for answers.  For more than any of us, families will often wear themselves out before they seek help.  Whatever your reason, whatever your thinking or your need to do this, remember that asking for help for yourself is also seeking help for your loved one.

Blessed are you who

take time to listen to difficult speech,

for you help me to know that if I persevere,

I can be understood.

Blessed are you who

never bid me to “hurry up”, or take my tasks

and do them for me,

for often I need time rather than help.

Blessed are you who

stand beside me  as I enter

new and untried ventures,

for my failures will be outweighed by the times

I surprise myself and you.

                               

Blessed are you who

asked for my help,

for my greatest need is to be needed.

Blessed are you who
understand that is difficult

to put my thoughts into words.

Blessed are you who

smile and encourage me

to try once more.

Blessed are you who

never remind me that today

I asked the same question twice.

Blessed are you who

respect and love me

as  am, just as I am,

and not as you wish I were.

Blessed are you.



Do this in remembrace of me

"...Do this in remembrance of me."

I like to say that I “grew up” in the healthcare field.  And many people have taken me by the hand, passed me on to others as I continued to walk through my journey.  These guides have given me much in knowledge and in intuition.

 “Your physical senses will tell you things about a patient, especially when they cannot.”

             ….Mrs. Sanchez, the first L.V.N. I worked with in my first Nursing Home job.

“Often, a resident/patient will let you know when they are ready to die, even those who no longer speak.”   

…Bill M., the first Orderly I worked with and who taught me all he knew.

“If you cannot hear with your heart, use your ears.”  

…A fellow student at a Mental Health Outpatient Center

“Do not ever fear death.  Death is part of life.”

            …Isabel Pineda, my mother

“Listen to the silence between the words”.

…A Chaplain on the Psychiatric Ward at a County Hospital

“When one of your residents is dying, what do you have to do more important than to be with him/her at the bedside?” 

…The mentor who said this to me used to sit with a dying resident.  When the person died, he would shut the resident’s eyes and say, “Godspeed, my friend.  You have fought the good fight.”

“Paul, do you know the only thing I fear about dying is that nobody will remember me.”

…A resident in a rural nursing home said this to me, after having lost three roommates within a span of six months.  When she died, and ever since when a resident dies in my nursing home, we hold a “Celebration of Life” for the family, all staff and residents to honor and remember that resident.  And, every November 1^st, (All Saints Day), we hold a Facility Celebration of Honor for all members of our nursing home family (residents, staff and their family members) who died the previous twelve months. 

These are but a few of the wisdom words that these friends and mentors have given me over the years.  Many more were the lessons of example by which they lived their lives, their vocations.

 Jesus said it best, “…Do this in remembrance of me.”  To all the patients, residents, clients, family members, doctors, nurses, co-workers, students, I say with gratitude,

“I pray that my life work will be in remembrance of all those who taught me so much.”